Randy Pausch: An Incredible Outlook
Editor's Note: This article first appeared in the Spring 2008 issue of Caring4Cancer magazine.
In September 2007, computer science professor Randy Pausch, 46, stepped before an audience at Carnegie Mellon University to deliver his “Last Lecture,” an exercise that challenges professors to give the final talk of their lives. In his case, the challenge was real. Randy has advanced pancreatic cancer. His talk on “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” offered a unique combination of autobiography, life lessons, humor, and zest for living—and yet his real audience, Randy noted in closing, was his three small children, ages 5, 2, and 1.
The “Last Lecture” quickly became an Internet phenomenon, with more than 6 million people viewing it or excerpts online. On Dec. 21, 2007, Caring4Cancer spoke with Randy during his daily hour-long bike ride. Randy’s inspiring outlook has touched so many lives—and we hope it will touch yours.
Cultivating a Positive Outlook
“There are circumstances that you get dealt, and you can like them or not like them, but you can’t change the fact that that’s what’s presented to you,” Randy says. 
“Cancer is just a more extreme version of that.”
“How I spend my time is going to have a big impact on my wife and my children,” he adds, “and that is tremendous motivation to not sit around and cry in my corn flakes.”
That’s not to say he doesn’t cry—in fact, Randy says that crying provides an essential emotional release for him and his wife, Jai. But he also has deliberately chosen to enjoy his present good health and make memories for his family. To maintain this positive outlook, Randy believes in exercising every day and eating well, spending time with his three children while also carving out time to be alone with his wife, and pursuing activities for the sake of pleasure, such as tinkering with computers.
Although initially skeptical, Randy also believes in working with a professional counselor. He notes that seeing a professional counselor has been a “real blessing” as he and his wife deal with everything from the anxiety of imaging scans to changes in relationships with family and friends.
Relating with Family and Friends
“Cancer amplifies who people are and how they behave toward you,” Randy says. “Nobody wants to make your life harder and nobody wants to be a jerk, but they don't know how to respond. As ironic as it sounds, you're going to have to gear up for forgiveness, or at least understanding.”
And some people will surprise you in a positive way—making specific suggestions for how they can help out, or knowing to bring prepared meals in containers that don’t have to be returned. Cultivating a sense of optimism—being a Tigger rather than an Eeyore, to use terms Randy draws from the classic Winnie the Pooh story—helps draw in people who want to help you, which makes life easier for everyone.
Still, when dealing with family and friends, Randy advises that it’s OK to be selfish. He insists that loved ones enjoy their visits with him and grieve on their own time: “If I ain’t crying, you ain’t crying,” he tells them. Randy also appointed a “gatekeeper” to act as a central communications contact and set up a website to provide updates, things he recommends that all people with cancer do.
Essential: Having a Plan
Randy believes that you need to “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” He
stresses that while he does have hope, “hope is not a strategy.”
He says that he can enjoy his time with his family now because he and his wife Jai took the time early on to put a realistic plan in place. Randy admits that having those conversations was difficult though.
“I have in no way given up,” he observes. “But my wife and I came up with a game plan when I was diagnosed, and when the cancer metastasized, the game plan became operational.” One key step in the plan was to move his family from Pittsburgh to Virginia, so Jai could be closer to her family.
“You have to have those conversations,” he insists. “It’s like that time you bought car insurance or life insurance—you just got it done, and you didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the outcome. I have a responsibility to fulfill for the people who depend on me.”
Click here to view the Randy Pausch video.
Randy’s Key Steps to Living Well
1. Choose to enjoy every day and have fun with family and friends.
2. Keep a sense of humor.
3. Assign a time and a place to crying in order to release emotions.
4. Make time for activities that give you pleasure.
5. Carve out quality time with your spouse or partner.
6. Lead a healthy lifestyle—sleep, exercise, nutrition—to keep your spirits up.
7. Accept help, tell people what you need, and appoint a communications “gatekeeper.”
8. Take advantage of professional counseling.